Monday, January 20, 2014

Dragon on a Mission

Hello! I am Father Dragon's Taskmaster and his right ha- er, paw. My  name is Tassin, father of Sessin. I'm also the Captain of the Dwarf Cheering Squad (DCS for short). 



In case you are not acquainted with her, sitting to my right is Father Dragon's Ninja Muse, better known as S.A.M (which stands for Stubborn as a Mule.) Our Master doesn't like her because she's a trouble maker. Dwarves don't like her much either because she's completely bonkers. A year ago, the Master sat on her as a subtle insinuation that there were no vacancy for writer's muses here. As you can see, subtlety doesn't work with her even if it is as big and heavy as a dragon's butt so...Meet S.A.M. 


First, I want to inform you that Father Dragon is temporarily unavailable to post. On January 2nd,  he ran into a new challenge to his wits, fortitude and wisdom. You know Master adores challenges and he simply couldn't help himself. Now he is extremely busy practicing his diplomatic skills and working on non-violent negotiations to develop further inner peace and spiritual balance.


If you didn't understand what I said, don't worry. I didn't either. I just read S.A.M's official statement but I give you the pictures above. They're quite clarifying and will also explain any roaring and rumbling sounds you might hear coming from the Quartz Chamber. There might be some minor collapsing but don't worry. We dwarves are trained to handle such contingencies. I'm sorry for you, though. No! I mean, if you're clueless what to do in case of cave collapsing, just grab the first dwarf that tries to run past you and bribe him for the nearest exit.

Since it was uncertain when the Master would be able to write again, and he promised the dragon cave would stay open for his friends, it is now under the temporary stewardship of the Dwarf Cheering Squad. That means that as Captain of the DCS, I'm in charge. Some dwarves think power has gotten to my head, but that's a lie. I am here to make sure you don't miss Father Dragon too much while he is on his mission. My mission is that you don't forget about him and he doesn't forget about you or us. Probably you don't know this, but when Master is overwhelmed with life challenges, he has an addiction to delete and forget things... or people. If he forgets about us, then there will be 150 jobless dwarves and we can't let that happen, right?

I know dwarves can't make up for a dragon but we'll do our best.


Yes, we must invest in our production budget but the treasure chamber is empty. The Master lent his gold to his cousin Smaug so he could impress our cousin Thorin. Also, we don't have the century-distilled wisdom Father Dragon has, but then again Enlightening is not our job.  Master says laughter renews his strength and reconnects him with the Higher Powers. The dwarves cannot fight  a dragon's battles, and we won't ponder about the nature of Brain and Mind, the Light of Awareness or the Immortality of the Crab. Our true and most important job is to renew the Master's energy with some fun.

We are counting on the help of dragon's friends, of course. Ninja Muse believes we can coerce- I mean, convince a couple of them. Mark Koopmans said he was going to dance with a coconut bra and a skirt of leaves with us. We have the Twitter message to prove it. Captain Ninja said he was going to go all Disco last year (or it might be just S.A.M.'s crush talking. You never know with ninjas.) Anyway, we might start a Dance with the Dwarves contest. You sign up and then... Then you pray you don't end up dancing Falla's Ritual Fire Dance with Milin in a dragon costume. If nobody signs up, then we'll have Mark's and Alex's clones dancing until some merciful soul comes to relieve them or until the return of the Master. Hmm, that might actually press him to come back faster. Prizes? Oh, yes, prizes! The winner of the contest will get to choose between three mystery prizes. Door number 1, 2 and 3, you know the drill. You get additional points if you share something funny (pic, joke, video) and it actually makes the judges laugh. Who knows? You may even win your own certified dwarf to compete in the next Toss the Dwarf Championship!

Before I leave, the Master wanted to acknowledge a noble friend and artist; Jeremy Hawkins from Being Retro. Jeremy did this in Father Dragon's honor back in December. Time was complicated even then but this thoughtful gesture really touched him very much. Father Dragon says, "Thank YOU, Jeremy!"


Amazing dragon, isn't it?  Will you help us cheer Father Dragon and dare to dance with the dwarves? Will you leave Alex and Mark to their luck? Will you bribe the dwarves for the nearest emergency exit, an additional vote or just because you find little hairy men that attractive?

58 comments:

  1. I know your dwarves all too well...they are outside my window as I write this. GO AWAY!!
    anyways, I would purposely not sign up JUST to see Alex and Mark in all their glory!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, Tammy. We just can get over the addiction of stalking pretty ladies. We are starting the costruction of a tree house on that oak.

      Delete
  2. Dragons negotiating is probably a lot like what Bruce Willis did in The Fifth Element. Only this time with fire instead of guns...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You got the idea, Tony. That is why we are seeking new locations, just in case the cave does collapse. Any suggestions?

      Delete
  3. Ninjas can out-dance bald dudes any day of the week! Bring it on.
    Awesome artwork Jeremy did for you. Last year A was for Father Dragon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ninjas might outdance bald dudes but what about hairy dudes? Ha!

      Delete
  4. Let's hope those dwarves stay employed. Don't want them running around with too much free time on their hands.

    mood
    Moody Writing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Without mentioning the empty pockets. No job, no pay. We might start digging holes in the blogsphere.

      Delete
  5. Tassin, let Jezebel take care of SAM. She can keep the little beast occupied in the Underworld Cave of the Unwanted.

    Please make sure Father Dragon keeps the dwarves busy. What chaos would abound if they were set loose into the realms of the unemployed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jezebel! Oh,Jezebel. We dwarves still sing songs in your honor while we empty the bottles you gave us. Come over and grace us with a diva dance! We all love you.

      Delete
    2. Jezebel says she will dance the Ultimate Diva Dance in Father Dragon's honor if the DCS will play the conga drums as her music...and, of course, she will supply a fresh batch of punch. ;)

      Delete
    3. DEAL!! Guys, hey, guys, go get some drums! Yipeeeee!!!

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  6. Maybe those dwarves would explain those noises under my floors and between my walls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have any gold hidden in there? Wine? Budweissers? Any gummy bears at least? If no, then it is not us. If yes, then it WILL be us.

      Delete
  7. Dwarves can get into trouble when they are bored. They are invited to come clean my house if that happens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is possible, provided you have big fridge full of roasted pork and beers. We will keep your house shining like a diamond!

      Delete
  8. Grandmother dragon loves to dance so I will definitely be joining you although I can't outdance a Ninja. I don't have pork and beer in my fridge, but I do have wine and gum drops if that would be an incentive to clean my house. As for running to the exit, could anyone give me a piggyback, I don't run very well any more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, never fear, honorable dragon's Grandmother. We shall see for your safety. It is the least we can do if we want to spare ourselves a dragon tan later. No charge for you. Of course tips are welcomed.

      Delete
  9. Bring it on! I want pics of this dance-off! LOL. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. We could never forget about Father Dragon!
    Dwarves please behave yourselves and do not let the power entrusted in you go to your heads! I am always available for a dance lesson should the need arise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Suzanne. What is your favorite rythm? You may challenge the favorite.

      Delete
  11. I am already practicing my awesome versions of Dancing Queen and Tiny Bubbles...bring on the Cavanaugh !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are our man, Mark. The dwarves and the Oirish shall prevail.

      Delete
  12. Oooh. A sight to behold. And with Jezebel too!!!! And punch. Sounds like heaven to me. Great cause, I will be there to applaud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great! Cheering leaders are welcomed. Fans of ninjas to the right, fans of Mark to the left. My fans can sit anywhere.

      Delete
  13. I can't wait to see Mark and Alex shake their Groove Thing.

    You, my friend, are Unforgettable. No worries!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wil be spectacular. We are already talking to the judges and. Building the grand stage.

      Delete
  14. Love Jeremy's pic and the one of the dwarf/dragon too! I hope Father Dragon is happy doing lots of Deep Thinking and Important Stuff. In the meantime, I suggest holding a "Dwarves Got Talent" show. With 150 of them, there must be lots of talent there: singing, dancing, Muse tossing, and ear-wax sculpting. Winner gets a life-time supply of gummy bears! (And when did the Crab become Immortal? Last I heard, he was on the waiting list. I must have missed the memo...)

    ReplyDelete
  15. We quit on the wax sculpting because of the heat, you know. But the Dwarves got talent is not out of the question. We are pretty talented.
    Milin thank you for the compliment!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Would love to see dancing dwarves!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There will be a lot of promotion. Stay tuned!

      Delete
  17. I'll pay for tickets to watch the Koopmans skirt and coconuts Calypso show, but one rarely glimpses a ninja doing anything due to their stealth, so I'm forced to wonder if a ninja dancing on the internet can actually be seen. hmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never doubt the word of a dwarf. Although you have been told several times never trust a dwarf. But there will be ninja dance to be seen. We dwarves are resourceful, you know. And not to point fingers here or anything but didn't certain knight promise a dance too? You dont happen to know anything about that, do you????

      Delete
    2. Apparently, elephants aren't the only things with good memories. I shall comply. :-)

      Delete
  18. Oh it's a good thing I'm not in this dancing thing. My sense of rhythm, or lack thereof, is depressing! I loved all the artwork in this post. :) (Will cheer Mark and Alex on and take a few photos for the tabloids.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Julie. We have special seats for the press. Dont forget the pom-poms!

      Delete
  19. Dwarves running amok? Dancing ninjas? Koopman in a grass skirt? I'm not sure if I should be excited of terrified. But I am going to lock up my supply of gummy bears.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably both. We are excited and terrified just the same. Gummy bears are not safe in the cave.

      Delete
  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Whoops! Try this again:

    I've seen your blog mentioned on several occasions and thought I'd stop by! Dwarves and Dragon muse ninjas, huh? I'm in the right place!!! Great to meet you (all?). Sending out a big cheer for the DCS! Oh, and the hasty and happy return of Master Dragon.

    New Follower,
    Jen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome to the dragon cave! Just on time for a great show. We hope you enjoy your stay. Remember the tips for the dwarves.

      Delete
  22. If Mark Koopmans even OWNS a coconut bra I'm there.

    How many millions will it take to restore you to financial equilibrium? Just let me know. I'm fabulously wealthy and can help.

    Will the dwarves report their tips? Just wondering. Sometimes they can be a bit flaky. Sorry. But the truth will out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mark and dwarves will have matching coconut bras. It was his idea so we at least hope he knows what he is doing. We will be counting on your vote. And you are right, we keep the tips, but dragons are not so hot of gummy bears anyway.

      Delete
    2. With matching coconut bras I cannot resist. Mark, of course, always knows what he's doing. He lives in Hawaii for heaven sakes. If I knew what I was doing, I'd be living there. We'll overlook the tip issue and not tell our Internal Revenue Service. What they don't know won't hurt them. We won't divulge the stash of gummy bears, however. I'm partial to those.

      Delete
  23. Hi Master Dragon .. the dance off sounds fun - and yes I'd buy a ticket to Hawaii to see the bald-head dancing his butt off with a coconut bra in situ - where exactly .. can't tell!

    Jeremy does great art work .. love these pictures here .. just hope all things improve soon .. cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You wont have to go to Hawaii to see that awesome dance. We will bring it to you here at the cave! Thank you for the good wishes!

      Delete
  24. Just wanted to let you know that I dedicated something to you on the Thursday post. Hope you like it:)

    ReplyDelete
  25. What an adorable dragon picture Jeremy made for you! Glad to see the Dragon Cheer Squad around. Hope you're doing well, my dragon friend!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Are non-violent negotiations the same as aggressive compromise? I'm bribing my way into Alex and Mark's misery.

    Ok though, I shall return your Dragon hugs with Hobbit sized laughter and good cheer. My traitorous heart is visiting Smaug this weekend.

    Enjoy some laughter Sir.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yvj_acGhbPk

    ReplyDelete
  27. I hope no one signs up for the contest because I definitely want to see Mark and Alex's dance-off. Especially if Mark is wearing the coconut bra.

    No way you could ever be forgotten, Al! But I'm glad the dwarves are taking care of things while you are gone. Dragon hugs to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I totally want to see them dance…so, I kind of hope no one signs up lol
    But you take your time and we'll be here, quite entertained I'm sure by the time you make it back ;)

    Abrazos!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I will never forget the Dragon! I have the same tendency when under stress to forget everything. I don't do it on purpose, it's just that days seem to blur together when things get crazy.

    And I want a ninja clone. I NEED a ninja clone!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dwarves rule Al and those cartoons are hilarious! Hopefully the dragon will be back soon.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Maybe you can send a few dwarves to teach Axie how to be a great big dragon like Father Dragon is. Hope all is well your way.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Dwarves, Ninjas and Mark Koopmans in a bra. Gotta be worth watching and reading.

    Best of luck to Father Dragon with his trials, tribulations and general well-being.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh! *searches for tap shoes, but realizes there never were any in the closet* Hmmm...I'm good at cheering, though!
    Hope Father Dragon comes back in his full-glamour soon. :)

    ReplyDelete