Don't throw it away. Just keep on going.

I practiced a few during the last couple of weeks but not enough to show you. The truth is I was out of town, visiting family and there was little time and energy to sit down and make a sound practice. I resumed the sketching during the weekend and I also tried to do Zentangles. This is my very first try. It does have mistakes but it looks pretty good despite those mistakes. Since Mother Dragon often mentions how I no longer draw anything for her, I decided to make a Birthday Card for her and this zentangle to be part of it. Must say that zentangles are far more time-consuming than I first thought. What you see on the left took me three days so far.

Once I heard an artist (not sure if it was Proko or Marshall Vandruff) say that at some point during the process of an artwork it looks like you screwed it up. He said there is always that moment when you look at it and you just hate it and feel like throwing it away and start anew. It sounded somehow familiar to me. I've been there. Actually I was about to throw this zentangle away because I thought it looked hideous. There is a mistake in the lotus in the middle, on the right side. The one that doesn't have yellow underneath. That was the first one I did and I thought it sucked. I was about to rip the whole thing apart, despite at the moment I had already invested two days in it. But I remembered that despite feeling the artwork was ruined, you just had to go on and finish it. Then more often than not, you'll see it works out well, somehow. Either you find a way to fix the mistake or it comes out that it wasn't a mistake after all, but a chance to be creative and come up with something different. Maybe it wasn't what you planned in the first place, but it is still good, or even better.

The combination of the other five lotuses (is that a word?) were a result of my efforts to fix the first one. It is not perfect but I am pleased I didn't rip it off and threw it away. I think Mother Dragon will like it too. It is still a work in progress but it's looking good. Besides practicing my pulse here, I'm also practicing patience, a lot of patience. Did I tell you patience is not my strong suit?

So I leave you this piece of century-distilled wisdom. When you feel like you screwed it up, don't throw it away. Be patient, keep on going and finish it. You might be surprised.

Dragon Hugs!

Self-regulation for Success

"The term self-regulation(sometimes also called executive function) refers to the capacity to control one’s impulses, both to stop doing something, if needed (even if one wants to continue doing it) and to start doing something, if needed (even if one doesn’t want to do it)." Source: Tools of the Mind.

Although this is a skill taught as children, I think I missed that class in the school for dragons. It's very hard for me to delay gratification or suppress my impulses when it comes to achieving things that are important for me or that I feel strongly about. I want to do something. I want results now. I want them perfect and everybody must love them.

So as a good dragon, I dive into it head-on and with all the fire I've got inside. I'm very hot about it and I don't care to devote insane amounts of time and passion -and often disregard the rules of pace, method, and practice- because I want to get to my goal yesterday. I want to arrive before I even started. I want shining results but I lack self-regulation. As consequence, everything ends up in a mess most of the time...

...and people don't welcome it as I wanted. Nor do I. Frustration settles. I end up exhausted because I didn't pace myself either. I feel I'm not a good dragon and I have some talent but not enough to succeed because things don't come out as I see them in my mind. (Here the victimizing voice) "I'll never succeed at this. People don't like it -because there are not thousands cheering for me outside the cave-. Worst, in my frustration tantrum, I think I stepped on my cheer leader. Abandon all hope."

I've never heard of self-regulation as a term until recently, when I started High School. I knew I had a weakness for immediate reward and that works against me, but it just dawned on me that talent is not really the problem. Look at this beautiful, state-of-the-art, loved by all, creation. It has everything to be the fastest car. A winner.

But without control it can as easily end up in this.

Brains are more complex than cars but you get the idea. Self-regulation is not easy, for 803 years old, perfectionist, impulsive, stubborn, OCD fire dragons least than all. But listen to dragon wisdom. It's not that you can't do it. It's only that you don't know how to do it. Search, learn, adjust, change. That's the only way to get success.

I'll leave  you with these words I caught from two different ads. You get your own conclusions. 

"When things don't come up as you expect, it's easy to stop believing than to keep the faith in your dream." Spanish ad. (Sorry don't remember the name.)

"Defeat is that doubt in your head, the demon that feeds in your fear, it tells you you're not good enough, that you can't do it, that is not possible...succumbing to that demon, that thought, that's defeat... Before giving victory a shot, I have to defeat defeat." Defeat Defeat Video.

Dragon Hugs!

This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group, created by Alex J. Cavanaugh. You can also find IWSG on Facebook - Critique Group.

Do you know what are you giving?

With Christmas Holidays so close, you find everywhere the spirit of "giving". Spirit of giving makes you think on giving love, care, and also pretty gifts. Truth is, everybody is giving all the time. And not just on this season of the year, but every second of our life. However, few are aware what is that they are giving. That must change.

Two weeks ago it was the Teleton here in Mexico. The Teleton is a one day show to gather money to build and maintain operational rehabilitation centers for disabled and sick children. There is a Teleton each year and more than 40 rehabilitation centers have been built across the country. They all possess state-of-the-art technology that the poor families of those children could never afford otherwise.

My dwarves were arguing about the Teleton. It was a very hot argument. Their opinions were divided. Half believed in giving one peso to the Teleton. Half of them refused. They had read negative propaganda on the Internet about the Teleton being a fraud. The president's wife recently bought a 84  million pesos house and she claims she did it with money she earned working for Televisa. Televisa is the TV company that sponsors the Teleton. Absolutely no actor make that kind of money if not working for Hollywood and being famous. We all know it. People in Mexico is raging already. They are raging and hurt and they have ran out of patience. We all suffer because of the great insecurity, because of the drug war, because of the many who disappear to never be seen alive every other day. We suffer because of the frauds and corruption and theft from the government we hear about on daily basis. Some places are technically war zones. We live in fear.

As Yoda said, fear produces anger and anger produces hate. When you hate, you are no longer thinking right. Sometimes you do not care who hurt you but where to release your wrath and outrage. Any excuse will do. And then you make innocents pay for others' injustices.

This year, the lack of will to contribute to the Teleton was sadly evident. People wouldn't give because of what they read in social media. 99.9% of people never take the time to verify if what they read on Facebook, Twitter and dis"informative" sites is true or not. They just read it and immediately think on sharing it. It happens in Mexico, but it also happens everywhere else. "I tell you this because I heard it from the sister of the cousin of the father of a friend of mine and she saw it all." "I saw it on Facebook, so it have to be true."

I've been at those Centers of Rehabilitation. I've known children who have been blessed with their help. I know something good comes out of the Teleton, regardless who sponsors it. Social unhappiness almost made disabled innocent children pay for the government's and the drug dealers' crimes. I am not Christian. I'm Buddhist. And until not so long ago, the bitterness and hurt in my heart made me the dragon version of the Grinch. Yet, I would like to make you think about what you are giving to others, not just this season but always. Every action you do in your daily life, that's what you're giving to the world. 

This time of the year I see more angry rushed people stuck in traffic. More intolerant people arguing in the stores, more concerned about dinners, gifts and parties than about not fighting with their children or spouse. Give whatever gift you can purchase, if you are so inclined. But please, for this world's sake, consider the possibility of giving also your common sense, your good will, your patience, your tolerance. Don't give lies, don't share things you can't verify they're true, don't give gossip and unsettling words, don't speak ill of others, don't argue with your family over matters that are worthless in the long run.

Being RIGHT is overrated. It's far better being GOOD. Be good to your family, to your friends and to those who share this world with you. I'm not saying you go out and hug everyone, but if you give way to another car, if you smile to the those attending you, if you bite your tongue before saying something ill against another, you're already giving blessings to many.

Dragon and Dwarves wish you the most blessed of Christmas and a New Year full of chances to become the best version of yourself.