Although this is a skill taught as children, I think I missed that class in the school for dragons. It's very hard for me to delay gratification or suppress my impulses when it comes to achieving things that are important for me or that I feel strongly about. I want to do something. I want results now. I want them perfect and everybody must love them.
So as a good dragon, I dive into it head-on and with all the fire I've got inside. I'm very hot about it and I don't care to devote insane amounts of time and passion -and often disregard the rules of pace, method, and practice- because I want to get to my goal yesterday. I want to arrive before I even started. I want shining results but I lack self-regulation. As consequence, everything ends up in a mess most of the time...
...and people don't welcome it as I wanted. Nor do I. Frustration settles. I end up exhausted because I didn't pace myself either. I feel I'm not a good dragon and I have some talent but not enough to succeed because things don't come out as I see them in my mind. (Here the victimizing voice) "I'll never succeed at this. People don't like it -because there are not thousands cheering for me outside the cave-. Worst, in my frustration tantrum, I think I stepped on my cheer leader. Abandon all hope."
I've never heard of self-regulation as a term until recently, when I started High School. I knew I had a weakness for immediate reward and that works against me, but it just dawned on me that talent is not really the problem. Look at this beautiful, state-of-the-art, loved by all, creation. It has everything to be the fastest car. A winner.
But without control it can as easily end up in this.
Brains are more complex than cars but you get the idea. Self-regulation is not easy, for 803 years old, perfectionist, impulsive, stubborn, OCD fire dragons least than all. But listen to dragon wisdom. It's not that you can't do it. It's only that you don't know how to do it. Search, learn, adjust, change. That's the only way to get success.
I'll leave you with these words I caught from two different ads. You get your own conclusions.
"When things don't come up as you expect, it's easy to stop believing than to keep the faith in your dream." Spanish ad. (Sorry don't remember the name.)
"Defeat is that doubt in your head, the demon that feeds in your fear, it tells you you're not good enough, that you can't do it, that is not possible...succumbing to that demon, that thought, that's defeat... Before giving victory a shot, I have to defeat defeat." Defeat Defeat Video.
Dragon Hugs!
This post is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group, created by Alex J. Cavanaugh. You can also find IWSG on Facebook - Critique Group.
