Monday, June 6, 2016

Going through the wall /this week's progress

I was expecting to do at least a hundred quick sketches this past week but I did 27 or so. I'll choose to see the glass half full. At least you can tell what the pose is in most of them, if not all. I asked Mother Dragon to tell me what was each model doing but she couldn't figure some of them. I think they would be better if I could just hold the pencil like I'm used to, but nope. I'm learning to draw using the shoulder instead of only the wrists, according Proko's drawing lessons. Right now the new grip makes my strokes sloppy. (Yeah, dragon, blame the grip).

It is worth to notice that drawing for me right now is like the best meditation exercise I can have. When I'm doing this I forget all stress and concerns and I feel at peace for as long as the practices last. In order to not make all the post only about my still mediocre practices, I'm going to tell you why I welcome this fleeting peace.

Some of you might remember I neglected this blog because I was out pursuing my dream. I had a plan full of smaller plans and I had momentum. I was sure I would make it because success is for those who work hard. Or isn't that what everyone say?

Well, I worked really really hard; harder than I've done in centuries.... and I didn't make it. One by one, my plans and goals collapsed and crashed before me. All of them. Effort of years became meaningless and strategies worthless. By the Sacred Fire, it hurt worst than a wind lance. I guess you've been there at one time in your life. Not shot by a wind lance but you know how it feels that despite your best efforts, everything goes to the gutter.

Probably it wouldn't have been so difficult to digest if all bad things wouldn't have happened within a short period of time. I was dealing with serious health issues when I got school issues, work issues, relationship issues, and the pressure of it all just kept building up until the explosion was heard all the way to the Dragon Dimension. And it left me in an extremely bad shape. I had to abandon school, put a hold on many other things and try to salvage priorities, like work and my life. Probably that should be the other way around, although at that moment I cared more about work than about my life.


 The good thing about dragons is how resilient they are. Otherwise we wouldn't live for centuries. And you know, the hardest part of us is not the scales that armor our bodies. It's the inner fire that armors our spirit. Dragons have a battling spirit. Dragons would rather be consumed by our own fire, becoming a walking inferno in a last attempt of conquering the enemy, than giving in to darkness and die in shame. The best of dragons have an honor that is unheard of in this modern world. And for that honor, we go beyond our limits.

I don't have new plans yet. I have not put myself together yet. But there are two things that are very clear to me. 1. I know what I want to get. 2. I am a dragon.

When all doors close, when all windows are blocked, a dragon will get through the wall. This is me pushing the debris aside. It doesn't look pretty right now, but one day it will, in all senses.

Dragon Hugs!

10 comments:

  1. A Dragon always finds a way through. I know you will find a way!

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  2. Alex is right. You will find a way, and have an army of fans ready to cheer you on.

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  3. Hi Al - you seem to have the right mental attitude ... we succeed, we fail ... and that is life from the beginning ... so focusing on your desire to draw and create makes sense - you know they're not as they might be, yet it's a success because you can do it and it's therapeutic ... all the best - I'd love to draw like that ... so your sketches will help you heal - cheers Hilary

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  4. All the best as you pursue your dreams. Warm greetings!

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  5. Hi Al,

    That resilient dragon spirit drives you on. Undaunted, you move on with the positive resources you so embrace. Keep drawing, keep verbalising your valid feelings. You have support, my dragon friend.

    Gary :)

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  6. I think the timing and the constant crashes took their toll. Sometimes, to win a war, we have to retreat not to wave the white flag, but to regroup and plan our next attack.

    Dragon hugs to you too, my friend. Glad to see you posting again, we missed you!!

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  7. I am so glad the dragon spirit has won through Mi querido nieto. I just knew you would find your strength somehow. Wonderful you are posting again and wonderful that drawing is helping to quieten your turbulent soul. Muchos abrazos.

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  8. I'm glad you're back. :)

    Your sketches look better than my finished drawings. LOL
    You are a talented dragon!

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  9. A dragon is strength and can overcome obstacles. It is the power of the spirit that keeps a dragon moving. You just need to ignite that small flame inside and let it burn and propel you higher. I have faith that you will find your way to the place you belong.

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  10. Push on through! I am sorry your original plans haven't worked out as planned. I truly understand what you mean. All we can do is pick up with where we are and move forward with something new. You've got a good head on your shoulders (and you can draw some awesome heads and shoulders, too). Stay true, my Dragon Friend. :)

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