Thursday, August 1, 2013

Get the Strength to Keep Moving II

Do you know what success is?

For a long time I've felt I have not achieved much in life. I could make a checklist of my dreams and there was very little I could mark. I was not an acknowledged artist or a published author. I didn't have a considerable wealth or the perfect job, or the perfect home. I didn't have everlasting friends or romantic love. I've spent my life fighting ailment and odds. As a manner of comforting myself, I found that I could use my experience to help others through their troubles. Let's say I had an emotional map. I knew where were the abysses, the shores, the monsters and the dangers. I could warn travelers in the land of despair. I didn't see this as an accomplishment but a way to give meaning to all those years "wasted", to make them useful. Yet, giving a use to something was not a great success to me.

These days I've been listening and watching to a lot of motivational videos. They talk about success and most of them say it is not easy. Most of them warn you it is so hard, it hurts so much, that you can't even think straight. However, it is important to know, to ask yourself how bad do you really want to achieve whatever you seek. Mere wish is not enough. "Kind of want it" is not enough. You have to want it as bad as your next breath, if you were drowning. That bad. If you were drowning, you would not care what's on TV, you wouldn't care what's the latest update in Facebook or Twitter, you wouldn't care for parties or excuses or personal insecurities. If you were drowning, all you would think of is your next breath. That's how bad you need to want something in order to succeed in it.

When I heard this, my heart sank. I don't think I ever wanted something that bad. No art, no book, no money...except maybe health and inner peace. Realization hit me like a brick in the face. Health and inner peace. I don't have them but I have gone a long way from my starting point. A very long way. I am not doing average, compared to other people in my situation. I have accomplished things most don't even dream possible. I have stood up where others sank, giving in to illness. They complain but they don't do anything about it. While I have complained too, I always fight back. I grab from wherever I can and pull myself up. If I can't get to my feet, I move on my knees. If I can't do that, then on all fours, but I strive to move forward and up. Crying, bleeding, wrecking but moving forward.

I have experienced that exhaustion that hurts so much you can't even think straight. Those are the moments I've wanted the next inch of ground, the next step, as bad as my next breath. That's when I've cared about absolutely nothing except said inch.

I have experienced success but foolishly enough, I have not recognized it because I had the idea success was measured with money, fame, and popularity. I had this idea that an individual could only be successful in visible, tangible things that could be seen by all the world. Things like wealth, beauty, a healthy body, true love, and additionally be a creative genius. I would look upon my life and say "well, yes, I survived. Yes, I went through Hell and back but that's no big deal. The years it took me I could have spent in making money. I could have perfected my craft, or get love, or make friends, or travel. In synthesis, I could have spent those years in being successful."

Yesterday, the brick on the face was my own heart screaming "What?? Measure me up. Measure your will, measure your determination, measure you courage and your integrity. See how much they've grown from your darkest day to this day. They are the size of titans. You are not about to let anything keep you in the ground. You are not willing to surrender to any blow of life, no matter how bad, or how heartbreaking. You are not beyond biting the dust but as long as there is life in you, you will fight with teeth and claw to get back on your feet. You'll strive for an additional inch of health and inner peace. You are successful in the eyes of the Higher Powers."

So what do you know? It turns out I have not wasted my life away. After all, I did more than giving a meaning to all the years of struggle and soul wrecking pain. I am more than the victim of circumstances. I am indeed a warrior, a fighter, an indomitable heart. No matter how many times I'm in Hell, I won't stay there. I am still unstoppable.

I am aware my fight is not over but then again, let's face it. As long as there is life, the fight is never over. The only thing that changes is the goal. Once you overcome one obstacle or challenge or crisis, another will take its place. But how will you win anything at all if you never enter a fight? There's always the fear of pain but I leave you with something to ponder about.

"Like everyone else, you want to learn the way to win but never to accept the way to lose. To accept defeat, to learn to die is to be liberated from it." Bruce Lee.

So You Want to Be Successful, huh? (The link will take you directly to the video in YouTube. I couldn't get the video here but you won't regret the time you take in checking it.)



58 comments:

  1. True success cannot be measured in tangibles. It's in the things we can't see. You have wanted it bad, fought back, and succeeded. And that success extends beyond you and into the lives of others.

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    1. That's right, my friend. It all starts in what we cannot see, to push us beyond our limits.

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  2. I've been reading Patricia Wilcox's book - Change Your Life: One Thought at a Time.
    You're right, Patricia is is right "I am in charge of my own destiny!"
    The words, actions, hate of another cannot, will not decide my future.

    Thank you!

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    1. No, but I'll give it a try. I'm upgrading the dragon. :)

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  3. Yolanda sent me a link to this post. i've struggled with chronic headaches, among other things. i hadn't realized till recently that i'm a fighter too. thanks for posting this. i'm going to be linking to it on Wednesday, at Yolanda's recommendation.

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    1. I'm glad it was of use to you, Michelle. Don't stop fighting and thanks for visiting.

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  4. The one thing I will always argue that more people ought to understand is perspective. It sounds like you took a long time reaching it, but I'm very glad that you have. Whatever you once thought your life was about, today it means something completely different, and this blog, even though it started as a fun diversion, seems to have morphed completely into a reflection journal, which to my mind has culminated in this post. I'm very proud of you today.

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    1. Thank you, Tony. Well, actually it has mostly been reflections that I interrupted for the A to Z and then resumed again. I think too much, you see? But yes, I do agree it's all about perspective and I've tried quite a few along the centuries. I am proud of myself too. I want to take myself to new possibilities. Thanks for coming.

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  5. I loved your post and the Bruce Lee quote. It's mature and healthy to measure your life by inner peace, health, and happiness, not like some people I've recently seen who are aiming only for high financial rewards. It usually takes a lot of experience before someone realizes materialistic things will never make someone happy - look at all the messed up celebrities and kids-of-rich-parents out there. Good for you for appreciating what's really important. :-)

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    1. I think inner peace and to really know oneself is the basis for everything else. I believe it's always good to seek strong foundations in order to build anything lasting. I forgot my first goal but I'm glad I remembered it now. Thank you for coming, Lexa. :D

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  6. Times of reflection help to build us. Lovely post.

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  7. Fighting is what it's all about. Not all of us can be Bruce Lees though, although I would have loved to have been. Keep fighting, never give up, never give in. Those who do this become successes no matter what. You are a fighter Al, you do dragonhood proud.

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    1. You think? *dragon grin* Well, my dragon ancestors must be smiling now. You're a sweetheart, Jo. You're right, not all can be dragons, hehehe, but everyone can be the best version of themselves everyday. :)

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  8. words of encouragement and fighting those little bastard voices in your head, you will blanket this past and sleep in the future.

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    1. Aren't you amazed how many voices can be found inside one's head? I've decided to ask them all to take turns to speak and pay for a membership. That way I'll probably reduce the numbers. :D

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  9. Great post! I do get overwhelmed with exhaustion sometimes, and the inner critic does get to me. But in the end, I remember why I started writing in the first place and it keeps me going.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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    1. And you're one amazing person for that. Success is a great reward. Thank you for coming!

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  10. I think we can all appreciate the sentiment here, and we all hope we are fighters, but it's only when you face failure or set backs that you truly realise how hard it is to keep going. Much easier to settle for something easily attainable than to push on even though you might not get there. It's quite scary, really. But we have a short life and what's the point of not giving it your all?

    mood

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    1. Oh, yeah. Only the he who traveled the night knows what darkness is about but as you say, if you do not make your best, then what's the point? After all it is our deeds that will speak for us when we are gone, isn't it?. I'm glad you came, Moody.

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  11. Excellent post, Al. It's all about perspective.

    And I agree with Alex; success isn't measured in tangible things. It's the kind of person you are--not giving up, being honest, being kind to others--that's what matters. You're at the top of that list for sure. :)

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    1. And here it is one of my best cheerleaders. :D Thanks for the smile, the vote of confidence and the support, Melissa. Dragon hugs for you! :D

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  12. I love how you are reaching deep and finding the strength and joy of your dreams. You are inspiring.

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    1. So I hope, Julie. You're in my thoughts too. Dragon Hugs

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  13. My dear friend,

    There are dragons in the tree. You write with candour, with transparency. A sharing of your world. A sharing that transcends and flows out towards those who like you know, can find strength from the challenges, from the adversity we encounter.

    Your thoughtful posting is to be underlined in the minds of those who know we have choices. We are not defined by our mistakes. What we learn from our mistakes, defines us.

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    1. :) I'm glad to know I can climb the tree too. I agree that we talk to each other's heart and we understand the message. I have found many in your posts. Thanks for being there, Gary.

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  14. You have certainly not wasted your life! I love the Emerson quote: "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." Something I always try to keep in mind.

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    1. Great quote, I shall write it down and place it where I can see it. Thank you, Lara.

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  15. I think everyone who tries -anything- has to be the judge of their own success. As you say, it may not be life altering, but sometimes completing a task, or knowing when to give up is success. And if you help someone else along the way, or just make a few friends, then to me that is success.

    My road to publication is not filled with success; I have a few short stories published, but not gained payment or know if anyone other than myself and the publisher has read the stories. But, I'm published, someone other than me said "that's good" so I consider it success. And it was enough incentive to keep me writing.

    Small steps still get you where you are going.

    Thanks for sharing the inspirational video Sir.

    .......dhole

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    1. Smalls steps and a lot of determination. I am luckier now that I have good supportive friends, such as yourself. The road feels different indeed when you walk alone than when you walk with company. Keep on going, Donna and thank you for reading and watching. Dragon hugs to you. :)

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  16. So glad to see you have a little more dragon fire today.

    I have my own battles with success. I mean, I know, in my heart, that the journey is the best part of getting to any destination so I should enjoy it. But I still feel that tug of needing to succeed...I guess as a form of validity. But I try to shut that side of my brain down and just find joy in doing what I love, just for the sake of making me happy.

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    1. More dragon fire! Considerably more dragon fire. :D I'm also working on validation, I mean in shutting that empty voice that asks for that as other's approval will never be enough if you don't approve yourself first. Easier to say it than to do, but still...worth the try. Dragon hugs!

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  17. So true. You are a warrior, more powerful than you ever anticipated. Keep fighting!

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    1. Thank you, Misha. You're up to a fight too, I know. Go, Misha, go!

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  18. Papa Dragon, there are moments when we choose to do something and encounter a reward, a benefit we had not expected. This happened to me this morning when I clicked on the link to go to you. There are places and people who are smile-makers, or are like a sip of cool water in an arid place, and you are one of those. Especially today. Fight on, Warrior, and spread the peace and the hope.
    Diana at About Myself By Myself

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    1. It never ceases to impress me how we happen to run into the messages we need precisely when we need them. I'm glad to have contributed to this today, Diana. May we have peace and hope in plenty. :)

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  19. No life is wasted if it affects others. True success is how many lives we can touch in a positive way.

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    1. Thanks for the smile. I'll keep that in mind, Diane. Dragon hugs!

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  20. Amazing post. There is no failure as long as there's life. You are an inspiration.

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    1. Thank you for visiting and for your words, Christine. Dragon hugs!

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  21. Hi Al .. just being for ourselves is one thing and actually quite difficult to do - as you are realising .. and as Diane says no life is wasted .. it's wasted if it comes too early through decision to go that route ... we have no idea what we'll achieve ... and most of the world is made up of 'people who help, who think, who care for others, who envision a life beyond dullness' ... I think a Dragon has some positive letters in there?!

    And as Christine says above - I endorse all that .. have a peaceful weekend ... and a healthier one - and cheers from across the pond - Hilary

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    1. Yes, the Dragon has plenty of positive things. Right now a positive smile. The cheers from across the pond are very welcome. A peaceful weekend (and weeks too) for you, Hilary. Dragon hugs!

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  23. As long as there is life, there will be an ability to fight the odds in each of us. I agree with Alex that success cannot be measured in tangibles, its different things to different people. For some its material goods while for others its good health, friendship, love...

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    1. Here's to life and the ability and will to fight the odds. :) Thanks Rachna. Dragon hugs.

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  24. Whenever people ask questions like the one you've asked, I think of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the massive supercomputer that was designed to give ultimate answer to "God, life, the universe and everything [including what is success]." The one glitch in using this computer was that it took 7.5 million years for it to calculate the answer, so by the time it did, everyone had forgotten the question.

    What I really loved was the answer the computer finally did provide. It was 42.

    Now when someone asks what I think things like success, or happiness or well-being are. I say, "It's 42. I'm sure of that."

    May you always quest for answers and may your quest be exciting and rewarding, even when that quest is daunting. In the end, it's not the answer that's important anyway. Arms around Father Dragon.

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  25. What an awesome quote and Alex is right. The real measure of success is never something you can put in a box, but that you feel in your heart.

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  26. Love this post, Al! I watched both videos. You were right about the first one. It was definitely worth the trip over to YouTube. It sounds like if you are giving 100% of yourself to improving your health, you are successful. The definition of success is devoting yourself completely to ONE GOAL. It sounds like you are doing just that... yay you!!!

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  27. You've said a lot in one big breath of hot dragon breath. But it was a lot that was well said and well taken. Thanks for sharing this. Many of us don't consider whether what we want or hope to get, that we don't want that much... as much as a last breath. It helps us to really think of what's truly important and not get so hung up on how other desires take forever to, if ever they do, come to fruition.

    Though we may not want to write, create or be published as much as we want our last breath, it's still a worthy and real desire to have and fight to have accomplished. Writer’s Mark

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  28. Good stuff here...sometimes, getting close to losing everything is the motivation to change and really take stock of your life.

    I had a health scare 11 yrs ago. Technically, I died (since my heart stopped beating).

    I've been fortunate to have recovered, but my whole life changed after that. You're exactly right - success needs to be measured in the impact it makes on you and others. That's the real value.

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  29. Great video clip Al! Now to run out the door and do something great! Oh, wait. Pants. Can't forget the pants. I got arrested the last time that happened.

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  30. There are no limits, there are only plateaus..... I LOVE this!
    Thanks for the boost of inspiration Al!
    And that's the reason why my blog is titled Writer In Transit... because, for me, the journey IS the most important part... the destination is simply a bonus!
    Writer In Transit

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  31. How do you define success? That's the real question. Often, I need a course correction with respect to my definition vs. the world's definition. It's so easy to get distracted.

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  32. Oh gosh... YES. Al, you do have the right perspective. Really, really amazing post. I could reread it right now. Thanks for this--I enjoyed it very much and it was very inspiring.

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  33. As long as we're fighting, we're a success. Success is a matter of perspective. Sounds like you're looking at it right.

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  34. This is such a great post. I loved it. I think it is a matter of defining what success is and what we want most in life.

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  35. For me success is always finding a way to be proud of who you are. If you are proud of yourself you have succeeded in my book. Love the Bruce quotes.

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  36. Thanks for this very encouraging post. You're setting a really good example for those of us struggling with these issues. I appreciate you and am so glad we met.
    Tina @ Life is Good

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