Saturday, April 27, 2013

Chronicles of the Dragon Cave from A to Z: "X" is for X-Dwarf Files

Forty-five days have passed but I remember it as clearly as if it were only month and half ago. Alex Cavanaugh asked for volunteers to become his Ninja Minions. I applied in behalf of my dwarves. You should have seen them. When they first heard they got the job, they went nuts. None of us had the slightest idea what we had gotten ourselves into and dwarves failed to read the small letter in the contract. An error easily understandable due to the fact there wasn't any contract.

There was a day I had absolutely no idea who Alex was, but that has changed. In five months I've learned three vital things about him. One, he is known as Captain Ninja. Two, he has clones. And three, he likes Kate Beckinsale. I discarded the third for being totally useless information to my current interests, but the first two made me see the need to train my dwarves. Ninjas are tough. Their legendary resilience and fortitude are stuff of legend. Even though it was a temporary job, I had high expectations on my dwarves. They promised to do their level best and they trained hard to be able to keep up with such a tireless leader.

Finally, my dragon minions became ninja minions. They wanted to have a picture taken of the whole group, to have something to remember this unique alliance by. Here it is Exhibit A.


No, nobody noticed when SAM got in the frame. Fireworks were too loud and I don't use to check ninjas' feet unless they are about to kick me. Anyway, you can see everyone is so cheerful and enthusiastic. (You can't see Captain Ninja is cheerful but you can tell by the aura. You can see auras, right?) One hundred and fifty dwarves here, eager to go wherever their mission would take them.

Tassin was in charge of sending me their daily reports and I mailed to Alex whatever they would find. After the first week my task-master's notes sounded a bit "stressed". After the second week, he kind of insinuated some dwarves were thinking on an honorable way out, like Hara-Kiri or Sepukku. After the third week, he reported the status of ninety dwarves was MIA. I was extremely concerned by the news. I had taken into consideration the need to replace one or two dozens but not more than half my staff.

Earlier this week Tassin sent a note saying they were all accounted for and included a picture of the group as proof. Here it is Exhibit B.

Probably it is just the light or the angle, but they look different to me; stiffen and lifeless. I understand their clothes are different (they can't wear the same clothes everyday) but what's with those oddly braided beards? Do you think Tassin is hiding something from me? If that's a ninja clone, do you think it possible those are cloned dwarves too? Will they come back to their old lively selves after their vacation? Will I have to charge Alex for damaged dwarves or will he have to charge me for unauthorized use (and possible hair clogging) of his cloning machine? What's your opinion on this case?

I am framing the first picture and hanging it on my wall as a memento of my brave devoted staff, just in case.


25 comments:

  1. It is always tough when dealing with clones. Ninja dwarves. What would you unleash on the world my friendly dragon?

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  2. I gradually learning all about Ninja dwarves through your excellent posts.

    Have a good week-end.

    Yvonne.

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  3. The look like the change every president goes through after a few months in the office. Hope they revert back, as you say, after a vacation. I would think that Alex could definitely at least get you some gourmet dragon treats for the trouble. Writer’s Mark

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  4. I'm also minioning this year, but it's seriously hard work. Not sure if I'll repeat the process next year. DEFINITELY won't if I know I have a book in the works to be published...

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  6. When this is over, next week, we do need to talk about the dwarves... And it's not what you think.

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  7. I love the exhibit pics, and they're definitely proof of dwarven loyalty. Yay for ninja minion dwarves! :-)

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  8. Hey, buddy! My first belly laugh of the day! Thank you so very much! I love dwarves, and all the little people who inhabit fantasy lands. Alex is a favorite person of mine, too! Thank you for the Ninja dwarves, my friend. Ruby

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  9. I'm sure it will turn out all right and your dwarves will relax back into themselves, maybe they are just a bit stressed out at the moment.

    JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE

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  10. I didn't see SAM in eXhibit B. Your issues with SAM may be over. I'm betting she has gone over to the AleXside...competition for Kate? As for the rest...a vacation can do wonders and then there is the Thermal Pool...ahhhhh Xhaltation!!!

    My Letter'X'...TeXas Our TeXas Quilt
    Sue CollectInTeXasGal
    AtoZ LoneStar Quilting Bee

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  11. It all sounds like a DND quest (Dragons Ninja Dwarves, not Dungeons and Dragons) to find the truth because the truth is out there. I'll keep on the lookout for your minions. Dwarves are already short. Should they master ninja stealth skills too they would be nigh to unstoppable.

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  12. Very interesting pics and subject matter, FD.... I hope it all works out with you and the Ninja Captain. ANd be kind to your dwarves, they worked SO hard trying to please you and Alex....

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  13. I think the second picture is what happens when there is this solidarity that becomes evident in dwarves working so close for a common good. The solid part of solidarity becomes the reality and then we are faced with the issue of whether to call them dwarves or dwarphs in this morphed state. When this is over, and they return, you can just throw some water on them and they will dissolve into their former unsolidified argumentative state of being dwarves again.

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  14. Bwahaha . . .your humor is Awesome, Al!
    I think you might have to pay damages for hair clogging the cloning machine, because it looks like the dwarves might have cloned themselves and taken a vacation . . .on a beach somewhere, perhaps?

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  15. First picture is awesome, second one is a bit scary.

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  16. Hehehe! Fantastic pictures. They might be clones, or they could be masters of disguise too. Ninjas have that talent!

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  17. Hahahaha! The second one is definitely clones. You got yourself a dwarf revolt - them basking somewhere on a tropical island, snickering about pulling a fast one on Father Dragon. Uh-oh, you know about it...I'd say beards are gonna roll over this one. Toss them in the lake. Make them clean out the hair clogs in Captain Ninja Alex's clone machine.

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  18. Hahaha! The second pic is a riot. Love them both. And your first line alone made me crack up.

    Happy weekend to you, Al! :)

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  19. I can't think opinions...I just want to have a turn at the cloning machine!

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  20. The dwarves look a bit different. Maybe they are clones. You might want to do a head count when the come back.

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  21. I'm very familiar with the dwarves and ninjas from the second photo. I have a seven year old. :)

    Heather

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  22. It looks like the dwarves in the second photo morphed into Lego warriors. I wonder what secret plans Alex and Mini-Alex have in store for them. This was fun, and the pictures are priceless!

    Julie

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  23. I think it's safe to assume, Tassin is pulling one over on ya *psst, check the Lego aisle for more dwarves*

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  24. I think that your ninja dwarves have mastered the art of disguise alright. Seeing as how they were able to flawlessly pull off a disguise of a Lego warrior.

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  25. I had no idea Alex was Captain Ninja. That's awesome but I have bad news - exhibit B -those are definitely clones. I've seen ninja dwarves before and they are not so uptight

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