Day One:
Feeling much better
in House of Elrond after nice long nap. Also, Sam gave
me fabulous backrub
and bubble bath. Platonic, brotherly love so wonderful.
Wasn't quite
entirely sure why he needed to suck on my toes, but am assured
it has something to
do with Elf medicine.
Day Three
Have agreed to
carry Ring to Mordor. In hindsight, probably a bad move.
Day Four
Aragorn and Boromir
had big fight over who got to carry me up Mount
Caradhras. Aragorn
shoved Boromir into snowbank. Boromir bit Aragorn on the
ear. Ring must be
affecting them more seriously than I thought.
Day Six:
Woke up to find
Aragorn playing with buttons on my shirt.
He must be after
the Ring. Damn its siren call.
Ah well, Sam will
kill him if he tries anything.
Day Ten:
Today Legolas began
stroking my inner thigh with his bow.
Was stunned. Had no
idea Legolas wanted the Ring too.
It must truly be an
object of awesome power.
Day Eleven:
Gandalf showed me
very strange trick he can do. Apparently pointy wizard hat
not just for show.
Wonder if Ring is
affecting him, or perhaps he is just very peculiar.
Day 24 :
Finally feel
rested. Is too dark in Mines of Moria for Aragorn to find me
and pinch me as he
has been doing lately.
Gandalf fell into
shadow. Was sad to see pointy hat go.
Day 27 :
Lothlorien so
pretty. Galadriel pretty too. Offered her One Ring, but she
kept saying,
"No, there's something else I'd rather have from you, Frodo
Baggins," and
trying to slide foot up inside my breeches. So, gave her my
extra pair of
breeches since she seemed fond of them. Maybe some kind of
breeches shortage
in Lothlorien.
Day 30 :
Rowed all day in
boats. V. tired. Merry and Pippin offered to give me a
group massage. Nice
to have such v. concerned friends. Glad Ring is not
affecting them.
Although did not need back rubbed quite so much, nor other
parts.
Pippin does
remember we're cousins, right?
Right?
Day 33 :
Boromir tried to
take the Ring. Am not entirely certain, but am fairly sure
he also tried to
have a little cuddle. Was most unnerving, as Boromir quite
huge.
Day 36 :
Everyone keeps
hitting on me. Cannot cope. Off to Mordor.
Sam coming too.
Good thing, as will enable me to have more of those
platonic, brotherly
foot massages he's so good at.
Am sad to leave
rest of Company though, as found myself quite fancying the
idea of shagging
Gimli. Chunky braids and huge helmet quite a turn-on. Ah,
well, he never
would have liked me anyway.
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