Day One:
Went to Council of Elrond. Aragorn acting all
superior as usual. He
thinks he's so great because he's shagging that bit of elf crumpet on the
side. I mean just because someone has a broad chest, firm, defined muscles,
an outdoorsy tan and loads of manly stubble doesn't mean that....what? Got
distracted there for a bit.
Seem to have agreed to go on some sort of
mission while distracted by
Aragorn's enormous...rudeness.
Ooops.
Day Three
Stupid Ring, stupid Quest, stupid Fellowship.
Day Four
Frodo dropped Ring today. Picked it up, but
Aragorn made me give it
back. Arrogant bastard. Wonder how he'd feel with Horn of Gondor shoved
right up his...
Stupid Ring.
Day Four:
Is obvious that Aragorn is strangely attracted
to Frodo.
Ha Ha! Ha!
Sam will kill him if he tries anything.
Day Six:
Aragorn still into Frodo. "Boromir, give
the Ring back to Froooodoo."
"Boromir, let *me* carry Frodo up Caradhras." "Boromir, quit
trying to cut
off Frodo's head while he's asleep so you can get at the Ring."
Blatant favoritism most annoying.
Day Ten:
Why isn't Aragorn into me
Day Eleven:
Carried Frodo out of Mines of Moria.
Kind of liked it, actually.
Hope am not turning into pervy hobbit-fancier
like Uncle Windermir.
Not after what happened to *him.* Merry and Pippin are cute little things,
too...
In other news, Gandalf died.
Day 30:
In Lothlorien. Galadriel quite a babe. Feel sure
she was attracted to
my rugged yet unwashed manliness.
Legolas took a bath in her fountain. Got in
trouble. Ha.
Ha. Big elfy
git. Am
quite sure he dyes his hair. Also, he has spot on his nose.
Aragorn suggested we take baths as well. Only
realized in nick of time
he did not mean with each other.
Stupid Aragorn.
Day 33 :
Frodo being all weird about the Ring. Won't even
let me look at it.
Must admit I had a bit of a tussle with him trying to get a gander at it.
Rolled around on him till he went invisible. Resisted urge to have a little
cuddle (made easier when he punched me in the face.)
Aragorn would be jealous. Ha!
Day 35:
Killed by orcs.
Stupid orcs.
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