Monday, November 24, 2014

As Easy or As Difficult as You Believe It Is

I'm a keen observer. I am always observing those around me. I'm also a bit obsessive about observing myself. The way I react to certain things, what makes me angry or sad and why. I'm a stubborn dragon. I got the Stubborn Dragon Award for many centuries in a row (the undefeated champion and very proud of it, I must add.)

In the past, the dragon's way to do things was the only way possible. Change was something I could not conceive and I didn't take it well. People should change, the world should change, circumstances should change but not me.

By the way, it is not easy to observe oneself. Often, I don't realize I have an attitude problem but until I see someone else with that attitude. Ironically, my bad attitude in another person always bothers me. I learned that if someone does something that bothers me, sometimes it is because the person is showing attributes I don't like of myself. I've  also noticed as one grows old, there is a stronger tendency to reject the new stuff. We refuse to learn and find adaptation more difficult. We want things to be "as they were" because the way they were is always better. That's what my grandmother used to say. Then my mother said it and now I've caught myself repeating it. And I wonder, things were better in the past for real? Or is it just that we have such a hard time accepting change and adapt to it that we NEED to believe past was better?

We need to justify our inherent reluctance to change. At least, I do... or did.

Once I read, "To achieve what you've never had, you must do what you've never done." It was an eye opener for me. The more I refused to change and learn new things, the more I would be stuck in the same place. And the world would keep moving and leaving me behind. My Buddhist group used to say, "if you don't move forward, you start moving backwards". I thought that was not accurate, since you could just stay in the same place. Now I understand it's like a car in a road. As the car goes forward, it seems the light-posts move backwards. I guess that's one of the reasons why often the elders who insist to live from their past memories, feel they don't fit anywhere and get ignored by the younger.

I don't want to be like that. I've promised myself I will be more receptive and open to change. It is very difficult and challenging for one like me, but I often remind myself that it is as easy or as difficult as I believe it to be. I'm the one who sets the limits to my brain and my capacity. I've made a big leap of faith. Faith on myself. I will learn new things, I will learn to adapt, I will be open to change.

To achieve what I've never had, I'll do things that I've never done. One of them is reinventing myself and embracing possibilities. Because past things were not always better (or maybe they were), but the best is still to come, if we allow ourselves to believe so.

Today is the second anniversary of the Dragon Cave. Last year, we threw a huge fancy party for all my regular dragon friends (more than sixty.) My on-line presence this year has been erratic so, as it is natural, the number of visiting friends dropped dramatically. No big party today. What about me setting a fire and you grabbing a bag of marshmallows? We can sit by the fire and watch the dwarves play to the Cave's Got Talent.

Thanks to each and every one of you, who kept visiting the dragon each time there were smoke signals. You are the ones that keep the Cave open, the dwarves employed and the dragon's blogging fire burning. Father Dragon celebrates you. We celebrate your loyal friendship and the gift of your time. Thank you for spending a bit of your life here with me.

Dragon Hugs!


  1. Hi Al, the Father Dragon, delighted you're here .. life can throw us wobblies but the blogging world sticks around its friends ... I shall definitely grab some marshmallows and celebrate friendship with you ... Congratulations on your 2nd blog-versary ... happy party day ... and hugs Hilary

  2. Congratulations on two years, my friend!
    I've heard that we see bad attitudes and annoyances in others because those tend to be the things we don't like in ourselves. I've tried to remember that.

  3. I'll bring the chocolate and the graham crackers and we can have S'mores. Congratulations on two years, Father Dragon!

    Your post today reminded me of something I've learned over the last couple of years. It's called You Spot It, You Got It. When I run across someone I have issue with in my mind, it's usually because they are a reflection of myself. Change is difficult but the most rewarding things in life are a direct result in change. Hugs.

  4. You've learned a valuable lesson. If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards, because nothing in life is static.

  5. Yummy, toasted marshmallows I'm in! Happy 2nd anniversary and here's to many more.

  6. Al, my own blogging has been sporadic as other things take up that space. Ergo, my reading hasn't been as good, either. I think this is something with which we all struggle.

    You said something in here that I was just thinking about yesterday... when I see a trait in someone else I don't like, most assuredly it is something in ME that I don't like. So, I really dislike it in that other person. Is it because I don't want to address it in me? Or is it the eye-opener I need to look inside and make some changes? I don't know. I do know that as it happens if I will just look inward instead of outward, I will see the real problem. (Not that I find it all that attractive in them, either, but that I can be more forgiving of it... after all, the reason I hate it so much is not them. It's me.)

    Happy blogoversary!!!

  7. I ALWAYS love to see a new post from you. And am very grateful for the wisdom of the dragon.
    I am more stubborn than stains - and how right you are that the habits which annoy me are ones I am ignoring in my self.

  8. You are the dragon of dragons and this post is filled with sage dragon wisdom. Change is the one thing in life that is constant, no matter how e try to fight it, ignore it or wish it away.

    As for the second anniversary of the Cave, please allow me to pull up a log, or boulder, and enjoy the celebration.

  9. Congratulations Father Dragon, for your second anniversary, and for your commitment to your "Changes." You continue to inspire. You make blogging a joy. Thank you for still being here and sharing your cave with us!

  10. Change is one of those things that seems like a great idea in theory but horribly difficult to actually do in practice. I could easily give a long talk on all the things I should change with plenty of good reasons but when it comes to acting, suddenly none of the logic I know to be true is enough. Yet strangely when i do (occasionally) make a change I feel the benefits immediately, so why can't I remember that the next time?

    Anyway, congrats on 2 years of Dragon blog. You're a welcome presence in my cave, even if it's only electronically.


  11. A valuable lesson mi querido dragon, nothing stays still, embrace change. I enjoy change and look forward to new things. So should you and I am pleased you have discovered this. As for the party, as I don't like marshmallows I shall bring sausages and baking potatoes. Muchos abrazos. I forgot to say congratulations, silly me.

  12. Happy Second Anniversary to you!! As long as we are alive, we change...hopefully for the better. :)

  13. You're on the right track, Sir Dragon. Change is the only constant. Things have been erratic for you and me both this year, but we're still here! Also, a very happy anniversary to your cave! :)

  14. Al, So sorry you couldn't listen to your HERE'S TO YOU video. This is the site at A to Z lyrics. Maybe you can listen to it on Spotify or Rhapsody or one of those music sites....

  15. Hi Al,

    And thus, continue to embrace the inner dragon child that speaks to you. Like everybody else, I'm here for you as you are here for us. Happy second anniversary, my kind friend.

    And a short note to tell you I'm so sorry to know of the passing of your beloved furry friend to doggy heaven.

    In peace and hope,


  16. Hey Al,

    Goodness...CHANGE. Always a good topic, because it's always happening. Change is growth, and believe it or not, it's always forward movement, even when it feels like you're taking a step back. Sometimes that step back is what's needed for continued forward movement, lest we face an insurmountable obstacle that we'll never cross. It's funny how many of the "Change" quotes you see (and a couple you've posted) that are paradoxes of each other: "Don't fight the old; build the new" and stuff like that.

    The way I look at change is with as open a mind and heart as possible. It's not always easy, but it is always growth. And to make sure it's forward movement--going in the direction that feels right to me--I pray for discernment.

    I recently had a friend who didn't understand the change I was going through in losing Mom. They didn't understand I was facing that insurmountable obstacle and was stuck in my grief. They'd "see" me online, mainly on FB, but at a couple other blogs too (even though I rarely visited anyone anymore), and got upset at me for not coming by their blog. They didn't realize I was doing the best I could, working through my grief in doses of snark and visits when I could fit them in. They were insulted they weren't one of the blogs I visited and that I wasn't there for them in their time of celebration--their book release (it didn't matter what I was going them, I should have been over it by then). I got a rather enlightening email that showed me what was truly important to them: themselves, not me.

    I wrote back, apologized for not "being there," trying to explain that I didn't receive the information, trying to salvage the friendship. They wrote back taking no part of their lack of preparation (I had pointed it out), and still blamed me. After much contemplation and discernment, I had to walk away. Change is growth. Some people can grow with me, some can find their own way to the sun.

    To me, change gets a little easier as I get least on some things. I've seen too much of the bullshit to put up with it anymore.

    Many hugs as you experience change. And although I might not always be physically "present," I'm always with you at a spiritual level.

    Take care.