For some reason, each time I declare some new life-altering determination something happens to make my path more difficult. I'm close to believe it is a dare game between me and Life. I say "I'm going to stay balanced through the storm" and hail starts to strike my scales. I say, "No matter, I'll seek shelter in my cave," and a flood comes. I say "Dwarves, block the entrance!" but dwarves are already floating downstream along with the whole treasure (yes, the dragon's treasure is gone.)
I close my eyes, cover my ears and keep repeating "Inner peace, inner peace" as I struggle for the inner inferno not to kick in. I can feel, oh so clearly, how my stomach squeezes, my guts tighten, the muscles twist like cords and the acid flows. My whole body responds with stress signals to over-pressured systems. Eye pressure, heart pressure... and here I am madly working the relief valves in order to prevent a dragon disaster.
But Father Dragon doesn't take his word lightly. I said that I would work a miracle and that I would adjust my formula until I got the results I wanted. I said I would pray with action and that I would replace anger with love and friendship. So far, I've shared with you my ideas, my experiences and my falls. Today I offer you this thought.Not all action has to be physical, and staying still doesn't necessarily mean you're not active. A day came that I was left with absolutely no option to move forward. I could either feel helpless, blast my rage against the rock to no avail (except giving me some days in bed) or I could sit down, trust everything to Mother Dragon and the Higher Powers and focus on actively keeping my insides (and wits) together. Honestly, it feels like doing nothing. Only paying closer attention I realized exactly why reaching inner peace takes sages a lifetime to attain. It's HARD work, make no mistake.
Life just reminded me there's a time for everything. Time to fight and time to step back. Time to fight outside and time to bring peace inside. Time to take the straight road and time to look for alternative paths. I know deep inside there is also time to win and time to lose. There is even a time to quit... but it is NOT that time yet!
I'm still in for the occasional bloghop and I will be delighted to keep promoting my friends' books, set the fireworks for their cover reveals and have them as guests here. Good thing about fire dragons is that they always have fireworks available.
My celebrations are:
1. My butchering parrot made it against all odds!!! I am extremely happy and grateful for this. It has lifted such a tremendous weight off my heart. He ended up very thin but I'm sure he'll be back to his normal shape soon.2. My friend Sir Jeff kept his word and met his deadline. Yes, I'm doing the dragon happy dance for that. Just imagine what I will do the day he gets published. I am convinced great victories are made of many little conquests and each of them deserves to be acknowledged.
3. Internet connection was reestablished yesterday morning. I'm crossing my talons it will stay like this but a few more days of instability are possible. Anyway, I'm glad I could work on this post in peace and I could also start visiting some of you.
4. My beautiful friend C. Lee at TheWriteGame awarded me with no less than the Dragon's Loyalty Award. What kind of dragon would I be if I didn't have the Dragon Award? You're right, Lee. The cave would not be complete without it. Thank you very much!
Now seven things about me. Hmmm, I'll tell you three but big ones.
1. I dropped my laptop just fifteen minutes ago and it didn't break. (And that's a break!)
2. Mother Dragon is my mother. (I stated it before but it was when I had like 3 readers. Have not clarified ever since.)
3. I'm not married. (Centuries-long war with Dragon Slayer and dragons going nearly extinct makes difficult finding a suitable mate.)
Bonus. I am happy to be able to talk to you again! Already told you that? Well, I've suffered severe withdrawal here so I'm going to go all cuddling and leave you dragon hugs! (Not that I will not keep seeking for victims if connection allows. Stay alert because you might be suddenly tackled by a big red scaly hugging force. :o))
I am so sorry that you have been having such a vile time. I am in awe that you are still continuing to fight the good fight. And I love your celebrations.
ReplyDeletePleased your Internet problems are over, I enjoyed your celebrations very much.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your week-end.
Yvonne.
Welcome back! I'm sorry you've been having such a difficult time, but it sounds like you're giving a good fight. Hold in there! Glad to see your parrot is doing better - give him an extra peanut for me (he does like peanuts?)
ReplyDeletefist in the air... it all works out in the end. just a mental scream. happy for your parrot.
ReplyDeleteAnd we are glad you are back, although you obviously stole some bandwidth this week as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are pawning dwarves now. At least you have a lot to pawn.
Being still is hard work. And they call it a season for all things. Like seasons, situations will always change.
And really glad to hear your parrot is well!
If your mind is still working, then you are doing something.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the award. It's fit for a dragon!
Hi Al .. gosh it sounds like life has been tough .. and watching those dwarves disappear with your treasure down the rapids of life .. is a little much - yet your butchering parrot makes it safely through ..
ReplyDeleteI'm so pleased the internet is back and you're up and running ... even if slowly ... not surprised you've cut yourself some slack .. and time to take stock of life in general - see you on Fridays ...
Lee's dragon award is pretty special and will spark up your cave .. then let all that sage learning and adjustment carry on guiding you through .. and as Diane says your mind is definitely working still ...
All the very best .. cheers Hilary
I'm happy to be talking to you too again, Al. And so glad it's not time to quit, I'm sending you lots of dragon hugs and good wishes for your fight.
ReplyDeleteSo glad the parrot is okay and recovering, hugs to him as well.
Glad you got your internet back. Being without is no fun. :(
ReplyDeleteI'll be waiting for my big red scaly hug, Al. My week is just not the same without it. ;)
I am very glad your parrot made it! is that his picture? If so he is quite attractive :)
ReplyDeleteRough week Al. I am so sorry you lost your treasure and had to pawn your dwarves. What is a dragon without his treasure, you will have to do something about it quickly.
ReplyDeleteGlad the parrot is better and I wish you were too. I am astounded that you are not married, there must be some attractive dragon females around surely. The Chinese have a plethora of dragons.
At least you are back on the internet - hugs to all of you.
Hi Al, nice to hear from you. Sorry you have been having a rough time. I'm sure your dwarves will be fine at the pawn shop for now. Happy to hear your lovely feathered friend is feeling perkier. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI've put out an All Points Bulletin on those Dwarves! Let's get that treasure back. Hurray for Mr.? Parrot. May his recovery be fast and complete. As to the Internet going dark. . . I think you took the time to escape that Inferno and enter a place of reflective peace. Wisely done, Father Dragon. By the way, the award looks perfect here. It fits.
ReplyDeleteFeeling bad that you have been having such a hard time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this sentence " Life just reminded me there's a time for everything." Things happen at the destined time.
Take care. Lots of hugs, Al.
Al, forgot to tell you that Friday is my regular posting day too :)
ReplyDeleteBeing still is very difficult. It is actually much easier to fly into action. I think that is why illness is difficult for most of us. It requires being still (at least some of the time) in order to heal. That is not a natural state of being. In yoga, one of the most difficult poses is actually Dead Man's Pose, which is simply lying flat on your back. When we are at rest like that our minds tend to wander and go back to "busyness" instead of staying in that meditative, still place the Yogi intends. If your mind is thinking about work, your grocery list, or all of your errands for the day, then you are "failing" at the pose even if you are technically still lying down.
ReplyDeleteFrom where I am sitting, you have come a long way. The person who understand what he/she needs is leaps and bounds ahead of the one who doesn't. See you next Friday:)
Phew! I'm glad to hear the parrot made it! And I think life likes to find a way to balance things out.
ReplyDelete(By the way, anytime you are the formatting stages and need help, just let me know. I'll be glad to help out. *hugs*)
I am glad your parrot is doing okay and hurrah to an internet connection!
ReplyDeleteSorry to read of your rough travels lately, but glad that they brought you some wisdom. Perhaps that was their purpose. I watched this indie movie last night called, Jeff, Who Lives at Home... or something like that. It was about how all things in the universe are connected. Even the random things have meaning if we pay attention.
ReplyDeleteGlad your parrot is on the mend. I know I feel awful when my cats aren't well. Continue to heal, Al.
So glad your Parrot pulled through. Sounds like you are making inroads, but a detour on the path may be what leads you where you least expect, and may just be what you need. I hope so, I know the detours I've run into recently haven't been welcome but I'm still very interested to see where the journey leads.
ReplyDeleteA blogging schedule of once a week, I concur - so much to do and so little time to get it all done.
Best Wishes,
Always!
I, too, have had a miserable time with my connection recently, haven't been able to get pages or FB to open because of an extrememly slow connection that the provider admits is a mistake by their computer on my acct. They haven't been able to fix it. Looks like I'll have to get a new provider, which isn't so easy in Egypt. I'm glad to hear your parrot is okay, and I hope the dwarves will be happy and healthy in their new homes. I'm sending you my best wishes that you'll get some good luck soon. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou have had it rough lately. I'm sorry to hear it. ((((Al))))--that's a big hug for you. Hugs, like smiles, bring comfort and joy to both the giver and receiver. I love sharing both.
ReplyDeleteBeing still isn't always easy and that's true, especially for people who want to take action, to solve, to make something work. Being still is important though and does help shore up the inner bastions of strength so we can face whatever problems we have and deal with them without losing ourselves.
Any dragon worth it's sulfur, know flaming comes with a cost. Take the time to breathe and relax. Love on your beloved parrot continue celebrating all that you do have and all that is right in your world.
Ps. I had a vision of Aragorn rallying his flagging troops: "Hold your ground, hold your ground!...A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day."
Hold your ground Father Dragon!
Sia McKye OVER COFFEE
Grand news that your parrot is doing well, your friend made his deadline, and you have your internet connection back. Sunlight after the storm. Continue to stay strong, Father Dragon. You are an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI've made a note you'll post on Fridays only. I'm happy about your parrot's health. And yay for your internet connection. Until next week.
ReplyDeleteDragon treasure and dwarfs lost but parrot getting better. Yes, that sounds like a good trade.
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm cutting my blogging days back to Monday and Wednesday so my visits to your Friday posts will be three days late every week but I'll still get here.
Hi. I'm just visiting blogs I don't normally frequent and I'm sending supportive energy your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to read that a laptop dropped is not necessary a laptop broken. I don't have a laptop, but it's on my wish list. Yet I'm very clumsy.
Cheers.
xoRobyn
Fist bump Man. Now is not the time to quit!
ReplyDeleteMore insight into the mysterious Father Dragon. I'm not sure I can handle all of that! I may have to start thinking of your dragon hugs differently. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you've got your internet going again. Man, may it stay straight from now on.
What turmoil you're going through. May you find the answers you need and the peace to keep you going. Writer’s Mark
It's so good to see your scaly face again! I'm sorry you've been having a rough go lately, but I think your insight is quite true--sometimes we are most active when we are still.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself (and your parrot, and the remaining minions) and hang on to that computer--I don't think you'll get lucky twice! :-)
Hola Sr. Dragon,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear that we are not losing you to a dark, dank cave and that your light will shine our way at least once a week - gracias :)
Like most everyone, I understand when Life brings us to our knees in distress, but it seems like you already have the answer: prayer.
If you don't mind, Al, I will add you and Mother Dragon to our family prayers and hope that you catch more positive things than negative disruptions from now until infinity :)
((AL))
Have a safe, happy weekend.
There is tremendous power in non-physical activity and tranquility...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that the parrot is on the mend!
Stay positive Al!
Writer In Transit
I'm so sorry things have been so tough, Al. I'm sure if someone can figure out the most active way of being still, it will be you. Thoughts, prayers, positivity... they are all going your way. Huge hugs! Looking forward to next next Friday ;)
ReplyDeleteI love big red scaly hugging forces! And being in your Celebration section brings a huge smile to my face. Regardless of the outcome, I will have kept my word and be better for it. Excellent news on the parrot! (And on the internet connection too.)
ReplyDeleteSo, how much for some of those pawned dwarves? Sir Jeff could use a few on his next quest. ;-)
Your positivity in the face of what sounds like major challenges continues to inspire and amaze me. You so deserve the dragon's loyalty award, fits you perfectly!
ReplyDeleteAnd I could SO go for a big, red scaly hugging force right now...
Big, big hugs back, Al! Your loyalty, dedication, and determination through the storms are an inspiration! Thank you for showing your huge heart in action!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand cutting blogging back, I'm slowly making the transition to doing something of the same thing - but I'm trying for 2 days a week instead of 3, at least for a few weeks, and then I'll see.
Anyway, although I'm dwarf size, I'm sending you big hugs! :)
Yay for a healthy parrot!
Sorry to hear that the dragon isn't feeling so feisty these days. Having been plagued with health issues for the last three years, I can relate to where you're coming from. I hope you start to feel better soon. So very glad your precious bird is OK. Congrats too on the award! Much deserved!
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
So happy your parrot is doing better :) Congrats of the dragon award and glad to hear your internet is running. We get so dependent don't we? LOL.
ReplyDeleteLove the celebrating blog hop!
Meredith (@MeredithRaeJ)
Meredith’s Musings
For everything there is a season. I agree finding a way to be that steady rock against the tide is every bit as hard if not harder than trying to push through.
ReplyDeleteGlad your parrot pulled through.
I too am scaling back (every pun intended), as you already read on my blog. Perhaps this is trend amongst other bloggers as well. Good luck with getting the balance right, Father Dragon.
ReplyDeleteSome Dark Romantic
Perhaps losing your internet was one of those blessings in disguise; forced you to "actively sit" with some tough decisions - less blogging, more rest. When I fractured my ankle I had to sit with the foot up for three weeks. I felt lazy, like I wasn't doing anything. I fretted about not going to the day job, putting extra work on my co-workers, about the dishes not being done and the house getting dustier. I dislike relying on others; just as you do. Sometimes though, allowing others to take control is also good for them; shows you have confidence in their abilities.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the parrot is on the mend, and I hope you are on the mend also. So good the computer didn't break and add to the woes, just when the internet is working again. Its good to see you around the blogs again. That's a beautiful award, fitting it should hang here :)
.....dhole
Hehe ..I like the celebration of dropping the laptop and it not breaking. That is always a *whew* situation :)
ReplyDeleteHi Al,
ReplyDeleteYes, I know, where is Gary? Finally, my friend, I have arrived :) We both know that life is a challenge, sometimes the hopeful adventure, gets sidetracked by negative situations. However, I also know that when things seem to be at their worst, we find the best in ourselves and do not give permission to negativity to control our lives.
The balance can be difficult. I do my best to prioritise my life. I blog when I want to blog. I write when I want to write. No expectations that will just cause me undue stress.
You have a lot going for you, Al. You also have the interaction with so many people who support, who encourage. Your verbalisation, your beliefs, shall see you through the darkest of times. We are all here for each other and yes, when we help each other, we help ourselves.
A peaceful weekend to you.
In kindness and peace,
Gary
*HUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGG!!!!* I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteFinding a balance is always difficult and when my internet service was out last summer for ten days, I eventually viewed it as a blessing. I was able to get more things done and I actually relaxed and spent quality time with my kids on the beach. Dropping your laptop and it not breaking is a sign of good things to come.
ReplyDeleteI hope I can send a little happiness your way. You are the winner of an iPad mini over on my blog. Thanks for participating in my give a way.
I just tried to post a comment and it would not let me. I will try again. I'm keeping this one much shorter, just in case they both post.
ReplyDeleteYou are the winner of the iPad mini in my blog give a way. So, dropping your laptop without any damage was just the beginning of your lucky days ahead. Congratulations and thanks for participating.
It took me until today to crawl out of my own cave - and get hit on the side of the head by your tail lashing about. ;) I needed to hear your fighting words and own them as my own.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy about your parrot! And so sad to hear about your treasure floating out of the cave and the overcrowded conditions at the pawnshop for fantastical creatures (but it made me giggle.
Hugs and bolitas all around! Jezebel is sending Sessin a case of Bebida de fuego para derretir enanos. Hopefully, it won't explode upon delivery.
I wish I could offer you a human hug! A cyber hug will have to do. I swear, the devil picks on the good side's most powerful creatures, tries to wear you down because your light reaches too many people. Stay strong! You have a light that is brighter than the most awesome dragon fire!
ReplyDeleteBeing actively still is no easy feat. Reminds me of my daily prayer 'Lord, I believe, please help my unbelief'. Lost things may be found, spiritual insight gained and peace attained. so glad to see you look on the 'bright side' admid difficulties. This post gives me strength. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteVery cool post... wow, I would have freaked if I dropped my lap top:) Very lucky break.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. Does this mean you're challenging me for the title of best Friday post? If so, I'm up for it.
ReplyDeleteYay for your parrot and internet connection.
ReplyDeleteWhat an appropriate award.
We're addicted to you, too.
I have gotten addicted to you as well, my friend. I've been missing your presence around the net. I've been there under the blast of fires and I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDelete