Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Chronicles of the Dragon Cave from A to Z: "H" is for Horror

   The high vaulted ceilings of the Main Chamber made the random screams reverberate deep into the Quartz Chamber. It is the tenth time those deafening shrieks interrupt my meditation for inner peace. Snorting, I balanced off my tail. How can anyone achieve a decent yoga posture with such wailing?
   "Tassin!"
   "Yes, Sire!" My task-master's immediate arrival made me suspect he was pacing outside my door.
   "I've been listening to this cacophony all morning, how long before it's over?"
   Tassin's eyebrows rose before sinking lower. "Probably a couple of hours."
    I grumbled a curse. "Make sure they don't mess with the Thermal Pool. Last time, I couldn't look at it without feeling nauseous and nobody wanted to clean."
    "Carmelita is in charge now. She's doing a very clean job. It's obvious she's an expert."
Another long high pitched scream reached us from the Main Chamber.
    "This is the last time I allow this.  Next time you need cash and want to do a Hunky Dwarf Calendar, either you choose the hairy style or another depilation center."
    "Yes, Sire. But... if you don't mind, we were wondering if we could sell the calendar here."
    I couldn't help a sarcastic laughter as I resumed my yoga posture. "Everybody knows I don't like horror. I don't buy it and I certainly don't sell it."

40 comments:

  1. Lol, I love the idea of a Hunky Dwarf calendar backfiring! I'm sure a dragon one would be pretty popular though... :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know if I even want to imagine a Hunky Dwarf calendar. Hmmmm...
    Dani @ Entertaining Interests
    #warriorminion

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hunky Dwarf calendar would give me nightmares...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the idea of the dwarves suffering depilation for their calendar. Funny. Yes, a nice dragon calendar would sell well.

    JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE

    ReplyDelete
  5. 'Hunky Dwarf' Calendar? There's an oxymoron for you. Ha, ha, ha.

    ReplyDelete
  6. And just how costly will this Hunky Dwarf calendar be. Will I be able to find it on Amazon?

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Happy: And to you too!
    @Nick: And I wouldn't have to depilate, hahaha.
    @Dani: Close your mind to horrific thoughts.
    @Alex: I wouldn't do that to you.
    @Jo: I'm too shy for that, but I'll think about it. :D
    @farawayeyes: Hahaha, you made me go to the dictionary for that one, but yes.
    @C.Lee: I don't know. Let me ask Tassin. They handle their own business.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A dragon doing yoga? Now -that's- a new one. Great story, Al :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Never liked dwarves no matter hunky or not.

    ReplyDelete
  10. A calendar is a very good idea! Sign me up for one. Front cover could be the dragon downward dog.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm picturing a dragon in classic yoga position... trying to wrap my brain around it...
    Writer In Transit

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nobody ever wants to clean over here, either.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a great little story. Glad I stopped by.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bwahaha . . .love this post! It made laugh. Thanks!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Mark: I'm learning, don't laugh. :)
    @Regina: They are prettier when in the cheering squad, you'll see.
    @Elizabeth: Hahahaha, you'd be like the only customer. :)
    @michelle: When I master the greeting to the sun, I'll take a pic for you to see it.
    @jaybird: That's the problem with lazy staff, hahaha.
    @Sally: Glad you visited. Thanks!
    @Tyrean: You share my sense of humor. Hahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Not a big fan of horror either, Al. Scares the daylights out of me! Best of the day to you and wishing you only good things. Must agree with you about rushing your creative artwork - it's like my crochet. If I rush it, the art gets lost in the shuffle and it never turns out as nice as I want it to. Cute pup, btw.:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hahaha. Geez, is it so much to ask to just be able to do yoga in peace? Poor Dragon.

    ReplyDelete
  18. lol That was so unexpected. Horror, indeed. Thanks for the laugh, Al. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hahahaha touche. Point goes to the dragon. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. @M.J. I also wish you the best of days. And yes, no creative work must be rushed. :D
    @Julie: My thoughts, exactly, hahaha. But I don't quit!
    @M.Pax: I'm so glad. I still chuckle when I remember.
    @Misha: Thank you, thank you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love it! You know, the more I read and the more all the surroundings are become clearer in my head! I like your place!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Easily could have been H for Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yoga and horror just dont mix. :D
    Hope you're having a groovy H day!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you aren't flexible, yoga IS horror. Happily, I am. But I don't do yoga.

      Delete
  24. Haha, hunky dwarfs and yoga! Love it! :)

    From A to Z, Kristen's blog: kristenhead.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. *LOL* Hunky dwarf calendar. Wow. I shudder!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Is there such a thing as a hunky dwarf?

    ReplyDelete
  27. How hard did you laugh writing this post? Hunky Dwarf Calendar? We don't sell horror here!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hunky Dwarf Calendar... ROFL I can only imagine the music playing during the photo shoots. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  29. @Franny: And that's how the dragon gets to charm people. :)
    @David: That was the idea, hahaha.
    @Pk: I'm still learning. Thanks!
    @Tony: I do agree with you. Not that flexible yet but not scared of pain.
    @Kristen: I'm glad you liked it :D
    @Christine: I told him it was a bad idea.
    @L.Diane: Mmmh, I think so, but only heard of such in The Hobbit movie about Thorin.
    @Robin: Honestly? A lot!
    @Jeff: HAHAHAHAHA. You do? It seemed to me I heard the tunes of "Too sexy for this dragon"

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh, father Dtagon... I am so impressed that you keep fit with Yoga.nothing worse than a stiff or inflexible dragon.... Am I right?

    Here's to a better hair removal system to give you your much needed peace.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hunky, hairy dwarf. Oh, the horror! :) Excellent bits here and quite the visual stuck in my head now.

    ReplyDelete
  32. lol!! Thanks for the chuckle!! So funny.
    So, where can I buy the calendar? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  33. You outdid yourself with this scene. You just don't know where my head was going with this! Great fun.

    ReplyDelete
  34. This was so much fun! What a clever ending!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  35. Wednesday April 10th, 2013
    Hi Al - er - Father Dragon,
    It took me a while to find your blog, but here I am! Thanks for visiting my H-post. Since you were the very first commenter, you get an extra link!
    Best wishes,
    Anna

    ReplyDelete