You can't swim today because there is no life guard. We are all off on our minion duty and this is just a recorded message. However, you may schedule a visit after the challenge.
If you do so, you will also be able to learn a unique sport practiced at the Cave: Toss the Dwarf. You pick up a dwarf and toss him as far as you can.
In the beginning, Father Dragon used to toss them over the treasure, but they didn't bounce well. Now they are tossed into the pool.
(Please do not try this with your dwarves at home. We are all professionals here.)
The Master's research proves tossing dwarves is both therapeutic and good for health. It helps stress, strengthens muscles and improves oxygenation; not to mention the added value of clean dwarves. The cave is hosting the First Toss the Dwarf Championship next year. The only requirement is for competitors to bring their own dwarf, duly approved and certified for tossing.
The highest record of Dwarf Tossing in the human category belongs to Sir Jeff Hargett, at Strands of Pattern. You can see him in this picture during his first training session. Some say it was him who gave the Master the idea to make a sport of this. I am not authorized to deny or confirm that rumor. Yet, Sir Jeff did send a picture that gave Father Dragon *that* look on his face when he is up to something.For information on dwarf tossing lessons please call:
01-800-FATHERDRAGONNEEDSMOREDWARVES. Your call is important to us. If the lines are busy, we're probably MIA. Try again later.
You never cease to amaze me how you write so interesting a blog day after day. It;s a great pleasure to visit here,
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
I never knew Jeff was an athlete.
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
Jeff and his hidden talents. . . (:
ReplyDeleteGetting the chance to relax in the thermal pool sounds marvelous.
I'd like to learn more about how a dwarf becomes certified for tossing. I have a few relatives who are shrinking, and they want to give back to the community. Congrats to Sir Jeff on his knighthood.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I'll have to translate the DWARF 9002 policies of certification for you. Maybe I can work a summary. :)
DeleteWe do Toss the Caber in Scotland but it may as well be toss the dwarf.
ReplyDeleteThat pool is so enticing. The picture of Jeff and Father Dragon is AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteI want to toss a dwarf!!
ReplyDeleteI am interested in entering the Toss the Dwarf competition. Er, one question - it seems to me as though Father Dragon Kicks instead of Tosses the dwarf. Am I right?
ReplyDeleteThat thermal pool looks so inviting!
I toss them with my wings or they slide down my back and I just give them a little impulse with my tail. If I would kick them, they would put them in orbit, hahahaha.
DeleteTossing dwarfs is good for stress relief, huh? Maybe I should give it a try.
ReplyDeleteAl, I am dying to visit the Thermal Pool and I do want to Toss a Dwarf at The Cave.
ReplyDeleteOh I want to spend some time in that thermal pool!
ReplyDeleteLove your wonderful humor, and I think tossing a dwarf sounds like fun . . .although I might be mistaken for one of the dwarves.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I'll give you distinctive uniform so everybody knows you are a competitor. Besides, I don't have the beard. ;)
DeleteSo, where would one get their dwarf "duly approved and certified for tossing"? *dialing 1-800 number*
ReplyDeleteDid not know that about Sir Jeff! Very cool fact indeed.
ReplyDeleteI thought Dwarf Tossing had been outlawed all over the planet, but in a cave the rules must be different. Dragon Rules, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI assure you no dwarf is harmed during the games. :)
DeleteI too like the look of the thermal pool, would be very refreshing although one would have to be careful not to get bonked on the head by flying dwarves I suppose. I will be sure to attend the championships next year.
ReplyDeleteJO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE
Oh, don't worry Jo. If you ever come to swim, I'll keep the dwarves away. We do have safety measures for all our visitors. :)
DeleteSo glad I didn't miss this! My struggle through my cold has put me way behind...but fate brings me back on this day for a good laugh! Now I must go congratulate Jeff!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I made you laugh. :D
DeleteToss The Dwarf... You have interesting competitions in the Cave. They are Fun and... "Clean" sport.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Jeff. He must have one heck of a throwing arm.
Oh, FD...
ReplyDeleteSuch a relaxing way to spend the day at your thermal pool. Let me know what you have available in the fall. I need to get into shape before the competition. If competing with you I will need some MAJOR "guns" to toss a dwarf far enough. LoL.
Don't worry Michael, you would be in the human category. I think you have a lot of chances. :)
DeleteIf it's therapeutic, then I want to toss two.
ReplyDeleteSo, the dragon was head of the curve on the whole Dwarf Tossing thing.....I can believe it :)
ReplyDeleteDoes that work with little kids? I've no dwarves, but I could surely find a small kid or two to toss. :) It would be very stress relieving and muscle building to lift them as high as I can and toss them as far as I can. I think I can store up enough tension to be a contester in that competition. Writer’s Mark
ReplyDeleteI would rather recommend dwarves, Nancy. Kids do not have the appropriate training and I'm afraid they are more fragile. :)
Deletelol, poor dwarves.
ReplyDeleteWe have a Ring Toss Game here in Texas. We use darts instead of dwarves. The two games combined would certainly add a level of difficulty to Dwarf Tossing with floating rings on the Thermal Pool. If you are interested, I'll send you the Rules. I was hoping the pool had a secluded corner with reclining seats and jets.
ReplyDeleteMy Letter 'T'...Only In Texas Towns
Sue CollectInTexasGal
AtoZ LoneStar Quilting Bee
Send the rules, Sue. I can always improve the game.
DeleteIf I would add the reclining seats and jets, I would have the dwarves there all the time and no work done, hahaha.
Looks like I must continue with my practice. I'd hate to have my dwarf-tossing record surpassed by some greenhorn newcomer.
ReplyDeleteToss them hard. Toss them far.
Toss them high over the bar!
Toss them quick. Toss them fast.
Toss them well and have a blast!
Toss them once. Toss them twice.
Toss those dwarves, that's my advice!
You made me laugh so hard! That's a good poem, we'll make it the official hymn for the Championship. :D Practice, Sir Jeff, practice hard!
DeleteHehehe! Poor dwarves. And love Jeff's poem there!
ReplyDeleteAha, have you any idea what "toss" can mean in Britain? Toss the Dwarf. I think if you 'toss' a Dwarf, they might give you a huge smile. Happy St. George's Day!
ReplyDeleteGary :)
Gary, you must know I'm Mexican. English is only my second language. I was taught British but then practiced American so much that I mixed them both. Still a world to learn so feel free to enlighten me about words because I have no idea. :)
DeleteI know you're Mexican and you speak very well. Actually, Americans are not familiar with the term "toss", either. Put it this way, "toss" or "tossing" has something to do with um using your hand to um..well you get the idea :) Ignore me, I'm a crazy Canadian living in England!
DeleteClean dwarves are very important.
ReplyDeleteDidn't the dwarf from LOTR say 'Toss me!'?
Heather
And that's where it all began. :D
DeleteDwarf tossing sounds like a heap of fun, though I don't think I could ever beat Sir Jeff. I'll have to get into training!
ReplyDeleteLessons are cheap, just get an appointment! :) Nice to see you here, Imogen.
DeleteDwarf tossing... you are TOO much lol
ReplyDeleteBravo, Sir Jeff, your efforts are admired all over the blog-o-world! ;)
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of this sport before. It doesn't look easy.
ReplyDeleteI could've sworn I left a comment here. Maybe I read the post, got distracted, then forgot to comment... I get distracted a lot. Oooo such a pretty background!
ReplyDeleteI'm soliciting work for a special A-Z edition of The Woven Tale Press and would love to use one. You can see the magazine here: http://woventalepress.com
ReplyDeletedon't submit there, just email me your approval at sandratyler@me.com referencing this URL.
Thanks,
Sandra