I set myself to achieve a goal worth everything; save my life. Armed with determination and willpower, I confronted my fears, made my research and overcame the first obstacles I found. A few small victories strengthened my faith and resolve. I also got myself some amazing back-up in the support of caring friends' thoughts and prayers. No doubt I was in the right road.
"When all doors close, it's time to bring a bulldozer and create your own door."
These were my words when I chose to go for a miracle. My plan was basically hit the rock until opening a door through the wall. Big surprise; my first assessment of the wall was wrong. Problems, as stones, piled up one after another, side by side and on top of one another. This was no wall. It was a mountain. My determination never wavered, even if my presence of mind did. But I would keep my plan the same. I would open my way through that mountain the same way I was going to do it through the wall. Boulders started to fall, threatening to break me and bury me alive.
Why was that happening? Just when I had gotten all heroic and brandished my highest qualities to face my problems and make my best effort to succeed, everything just turned out worse. One week I achieved physical goals I've not achieved in 15 years, I got rid of the stabbing sensation in my stomach, I managed decent sleep and some peace of mind (go me!). But the week after that air pollution got so bad that I wasn't able to crouch without loosing my breath. My dog getting sick tightened a knot in my stomach. My parrot getting sick added more knots as days passed and he got worse. As if these were not enough to keep me in check, a careless action caused the breaking of my dragon sculpture, the car has a leak, the internet connection is intermittent again and my laptop started acting up, pointing out to a virus.
All this got me in the worst of moods and my list of things to do only served to mock me because I was not getting anything accomplished. I beat my brains to understand what was happening. The possibility that this chain of unfortunate events was a sign from the Higher Powers that my miracle was denied was unacceptable. That, my friends, is Determination.
But insisting on breaking the mountain with a plan designed to go through a simple wall will render nothing but endless failures now. I can try until the bulldozer is broken to pieces, and then beat the rock until I leave claw, scale and blood on it; I won't be closer to the other side of the mountain. And when I lay all broken and bleeding against that mountain, I would have to accept my goal was beyond my capacity. Unless I am willing to adapt myself to the changing circumstances.
We all have a formula we use to address everything in life. A formula we have always used, that sometimes work and sometimes don't. That formula is shaped according to our particular personality. It clearly specifies our potential and our limitations. It's linked to "This is the way I am and this is how I handle things. I've always done it like this and I always will."
I have mine, you have yours. It is fine and dandy if you get the results you want. Problem comes when, as in my case, you're not getting what you're seeking. I've always summed 2+3 even when 5 is not what I'm looking for. But that's what I get. And I try again and again (determination). I've changed the places of the numbers (3+2). I've written them vertically and horizontally. I've even written them in different colors and even in neon lights but no matter what I do, I don't get 100. "I've done everything to get it but why, oh why, you deaf Heaven, deny me my 100?!"
Is Heaven really deaf or am I too stubborn and blind to not see the fault is mine? "But I've always done it this way and I can't do it any other way." Truth is, yes I can. Either I don't want to because it will be REALLY hard or I don't know how to, but paw on my heart, I can do it different. I can increase the numbers and change my formula. Changing the formula is scary (I've never tried different) and it is also very hard (I'm used to do things as I've always done them.) It will require commitment, courage (to face the unknown), honesty (to self) and discipline.
As it's the first time I'm changing the formula, I really don't know for sure what's the right combination to make 100, so as in all trial and error process, I must be ready to adjust my formula as many times as circumstances demand. I must observe carefully what works and what doesn't work, and learn from my mistakes. All the great achievements followed this process. They didn't happen overnight and no one has ever done anything perfect in the first try.
If you're not getting the result you wish, look more closely. You might need to change your formula.
Franny Stevenson from dr. franny and mrs. myself keeps spoiling me. (Thank you, Franny.) She has kindly shared three awards with me, but I'll work one at the time. This is the Semper Fidelis Award. I think Semper Fidelis is the motto of the navy in the US but also Mexican navy uses it. In my own life "Always faithful" means a lot to me. I'm faithful to my beliefs, my principles and to my friends.
§ Add the Semper Fidelis Award logo somewhere on your blog.
§ Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
§ Nominate 5 bloggers who’s loyalty and friendship you value and you consider being part of your ‘pack of wolves'.
§ Post something special for each one of your nominees and dedicate it to them. This can be a quote, saying, poem, picture, anything you think that would fit that person.
§ Let the nominees know that you’ve nominated them.
Strands of Pattern, the most loyal knight I've been lucky enough to befriend and team with. You keep my brain working, my funny bone in shape and my dwarves in check. I cherish our chats, our exchange of ideas, your nudging me into action and me peeking into your brain, hahahaha. The real proof that there can be true friendship between dragons and knights.
Alex J. Cavanaugh Thanks for the ears and for helping me with my formula.
Laura Eno What else can I say except... BOLITAAAA! :O)
Julie Luek. I must work on a dragon Spam Hugs picture, but in the meantime, let's use this. SH is like the greatest and funniest practice we could come up with. Thank you for following the crazy prompt. It has warmed my heart more times I can count already. Thanks for inspiring new ideas in this dragon's head.
You know of whom I speak, don't you? Yes, the one and only Gary Pennick at klahanie. He doesn't like them and yet, he is cursed to keep running into them (or they running into him). Must be his magnetic personality.
But I am acknowledging he is an amazingly caring friend who has been keeping an eye on me, and is quick to respond to the slightest sign of distress from the dragon cave. If that is not a Semper Fidelis worthy person, I don't know what it is then.
Thank you for being with me and helping me in my moments of trial. Your names are written in golden letters in my heart and in the Dragon Cave for selfless actions in Father Dragon's benefit.